Massively, we went into the new year full of good intentions. 81 percent of the population enthusiastically resolved on Jan. 1 to quit smoking, exercise more or give up those last doughnuts.
By now the first two weeks of January are over and chances are that most people are already there. have given up. Makes sense, too, because the average good intention sounds more like a punishment, not something you want to get comfortable with.
Take the top 3 good intentions. Losing weight' translates anyway into annoyance at all the goodies that pass you by. The general "exercise more" is invariably a resolution of people who already hate exercise and hate it.
The new No. 1: worry less*.* This one does sound a lot more positive. Only in the elaboration does it go wrong.
Our workload is increasing every year. So there is no question that we will get busier. To worry less about this seems a utopia. The solution is often sought in learning to say "no" to everything. This generic and over-hyped work ethic does indeed help you fight symptoms in the short term, but without powerful motivation as to why you are doing so, it remains a trick. Not a solution.
Moreover, "saying no" does not help against FOMO: fear of missing out. The question is whether it makes you at all happy when you manage to say no to something you actually would have liked to have done. Or that it makes you feel good if you've stood your colleague up? In other words; there's a good chance that this is exactly what you're going to worry about. Moreover, just like losing weight, this brings your attention directly to the very thing you wanted to avoid.
Instead of worrying about what you don't want, it's better to focus on things you do want to achieve. The chance of a positive result is greater if you focus on something you really want, rather than on something negative that you want to avoid. Anything you give attention to simply grows.
The big disadvantage is just that people often don't have a clear goal and thus you quickly become part of other people's goal. Which, in turn, you must learn to say no to. Virtually every business has goals with a corresponding strategic plan, so why not you for yourself?
If only a small goal. Sign up for a obstacle run or grab one of the City Swims along for charity. You can find those in the canals of almost every city these days. This is not only a lot more concrete than "start exercising more," but also more motivating. Moreover, it gives you something to live toward. On the way to that goal, losing weight is a nice side benefit.
So stop focusing on saying "no. Start focusing on what you really want to accomplish and how you want to do it. Saying "yes" wholeheartedly to something that excites you will leave less time anyway for other things to say no to.
