It is twenty past six when I arrive at the BSO (after-school care center). My haste and embarrassment at being late immediately gives way to cheerfulness when Boet, my little son, jumps enthusiastically around my neck and starts an incoherent story about the past day.
The little boy sitting next to him looks significantly less cheerful. When I ask him how he is doing, he stammered somewhat dismally, "My mother is always busy. She never comes on time." Children can always speak so nicely with superlatives, but his message is clear. His mother is busy.
And she's not the only one. There is currently too much work. The net labor force participation rate has now risen to 71.4 percent. Among men, it has increased to 75 percent and among women to 68 percent. The greatest growth in terms of [workload](https://www.rtlnieuws.nl/geld-en-werk/artikel/156341/vrouwen-hebben-meer-last-van-werkstress-dan-mannen#:~:text=Werkgerelateerde stress%2C angsten en depressie,44 ervaren vrouwen veel stress.) however, seems to be at the ladies to lie.
According to recent British research the ratio of total hours of work is also more even. Both arrive at about 50 hours per week for paid and unpaid work. In terms of paid work, the scales are also increasingly coming into balance, 22 hours for women and 29 hours of paid work for men. Also Dutch research confirms this picture. Admittedly with the caveat that a fairer distribution of paid work time would greatly benefit the household budget.
So we are all working harder. Only, the way we work, as well as how we fill our free time, is actually less and less effective. On average, we spend more than 105 minutes per day on social media and the number of emails we send daily is still running each year on. The diversion thus increases and literally less time is left for what we intended to do. As a result, we run out of time and are constantly in a hurry.
We also transfer that busyness to our children and how we raise them. Children don't do what you say, they do what you do. Among other things, they adopt our screen habits. Children from 0 to 6 already watch on average 150 minutes(!) to a screen.
But also in terms of performance drive they do not remain immune. In terms of school and especially extracurricular activities, we as parents impose absurd expectations on them. Children must be well perform at school, playing a musical instrument, often playing multiple sports, and all in addition to the now already long days of school and extracurriculars.
The consequences are disastrous. Screen time results in myopia and less time to playing outside. 80 percent of children under 18 even make it to the movement standard of 1 hour of exercise a day is not. Besides being incredibly unhealthy, it also has negative consequences on the creativity of children. Precisely one of the most important properties to develop in the coming years.
As children take over our performance drive, rush and screen behavior, they also take over our stress. According to the CBS 12- to 25-year-olds are already experiencing as much stress as those over 25. In fact, there is already such a thing as child burnout. According to the Netherlands Youth Institute, some 4 to 8 percent of children up to age 12 have anxiety and mood disorders. In addition, 10 percent of adolescents aged 13 and older would suffer from an anxiety disorder.
Fortunately, the vacations are just around the corner. A great time to think together in peace and quiet about how we can do things smarter. How we can give our children a better example. Less stressed, less having to, more playing. That would do us good as parents, too.
